Truth
by The Orgasmic Uke
Summary: Matt's sick of wondering if Mello really loves him or not. So he confronts the blonde. But the answer is even more painful than he expected. MattXMelloXMatt. SongFic.


Woot! Another Death Note one-shot! This time, it's MattXMelloXMatt. You can think this goes along with the death note story line or not. I kinda does when you think about it. It doesn't really matter. This one's going to be a little different than my other Songfics too. You'll see why.

Enjoy!

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note nor do I own this song. It belongs to Good Charlotte.**

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_So here we are..._

_We are alone..._

_There's weight on your mind..._

_I wanna know..._

_The truth. If this is how you feel._

_Say it to me. If this was ever real._

_I want the truth from you._

_Give me the truth. Even if it hurts me._

_I want the truth from you._

_Give me the truth. Even if it hurts me._

_I want the truth._

_So this is you._

_You're talking to me._

_You found a million ways just to let me down so I'm not hurt then you're not around._

_I was blind..._

_But now I see._

_This is how you feel._

_Just say it to me! If this was ever real!_

_I want the truth from you._

_Give me the truth. Even if it hurts me._

_I want the truth from you._

_Give me the truth. Even if it hurts me._

_I want the truth._

_I know that this will break me._

_I know that this might make me cry._

_Gotta say what's on your mind... on your mind._

_I know that this will hurt me._

_And break my heart and soul inside._

_I don't want to live this lie..._

_I want the truth from you._

_Give me the truth. Even if it hurts me._

_I want the truth from you._

_Give me the truth. Even if it hurts me._

_I want the truth._

_I don't care no more..._

_Just give me the truth. Give me the truth. Cause I don't care no more._

_Give me the truth cause I don't care no more. No!_

_Give me the truth._

_Give me the truth._

_Give me the truth._

_Give me the truth._

_Cause I don't care no more..._

The wind blew against the closed window causing it to rattle a bit. The cool night air was seeping through the glass, cooling the room. The room's one occupant shivered at the cold and wrapped the blue blanket closer around himself. The room was dark and quiet. Something not normal.

The redhead under the blanket sneezed and sat back against the wall in thought. Usually, he would be caught up in a video game at the moment waiting for Mello to come home. But not tonight. Tonight he was finally going something he was even better at but never really did. He was thinking.

Thinking about something important. There was only one reason he was thinking about this. Something changed. Reality finally settled in his fantasy obsessed mind. What caused this? Even the redhead was unsure. And that scared him. He was unsure about everything now. But mainly... His lover.

Mello was always there. No matter what either of them went through. He was Matt's best friend. And when it came to being his lover... Was it only the sex? The pointless nights in each others arms. Was that all it was? Cause when Matt would whisper those three little words Mello would never return them. In fact, the blonde would avoid the subject at all costs.

Why was this? Matt could not figure it out. Atleast... there was only one reason. Mello didn't love him back. The redhead's heart clenched tightly at the thought. But it was the only logical reason he could possibly come up with.

He was sick of pretending. Pretending that it didn't hurt when Mello didn't return the words. When Mello didn't look at him that way. He couldn't understand why he wasn't enough. He had to be. Matt was the only one for him. Mello had to know that... And Matt had to know for himself. He had to know the truth. It would kill him if he didn't. But then again... It would kill him to hear the truth... He was willing to take that risk.

The redhead jumped when he heard the door of their apartment close. Mello was back and Matt was going to confront him. He slipped out from under this blanket and adjusted his goggles over his eyes. If he was going to cry, he didn't want Mello to see it. He silently made his way out of his room to find Mello.

The blonde was in the kitchen putting his new supply of chocolate into the refrigerator. He didn't notice Matt when the redhead entered the room. Mello hummed to himself, grabbing a bar and turning around. He jumped in surprise when he saw Matt leaning against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Oh, Matt. You surprised me." He ripped open the candy bar and bit into it.

"Do you love me?"

Mello froze, candy bar still in his mouth. He stared at the redhead with wide eyes. "W-What?" He mumbled around the chocolate.

Matt sighed softly and stood up straight walking closer to the blonde. "Do you love me?"

Mello blinked, suddenly feeling uncomfortable under the gaze Matt was giving him. He may not be able to see Matt's green eyes but he could feel them. "Why... are you asking me that?"

"I want to know." Matt's voice cracked a bit. "Tell me the truth Mello." The blonde remained silent and moved his eyes to the floor, lowering the bar from his mouth. Matt's fists tightened at his side, his nails digging into them so hard that it hurt. But the redhead was far to upset to even notice. "Answer me damnit."

Mello's face contorted into pain at Matt's voice. He couldn't look at his face. He couldn't turn his eyes and see the pain he knew was written all over the gamers face. "No."

One word. One mumbled almost silent word. But Matt heard it. And his whole world shattered. He asked for this that was true. But deep down he was hoping he was wrong. He closed his eyes tightly, tears threatening to escape. He bit his bottom lip as his heart twisted and bled in his chest. It was only one word... but it held so much meaning.

"I... I can't Matt." The blonde continued. It took all self control the redhead had to listen to the blonde. "It's not possible for me to love... You know that." Mello's voice was soft, his head still turned away from Matt. "But you're all I have... You're everything to me Matt. But I can't ever love you..."

Matt wanted the truth. But now he was starting to reconsider. This was hurting more than he expected. His whole body felt cold, his heart felt like it had stopped beating. He took one look at Mello before growling deep in his throat and leaving. He grabbed his vest and threw it on before slamming the front door behind him.

Mello winced at the sound of the door. The chocolate bar fell to the floor from his hand. He fell back against the counter and held his face in his hands. He fisted his hands into his eyes, trying to hold back the tears that were begging to fall. He knew Matt would ask one day. He knew the redhead would figure it out. He knew this was going to happen. But he hadn't expected it to hurt so damn bad. He chocked back a sob before sliding down the counter into a sitting position. He held his knees to his chest tightly and let the tears fall. He may not love Matt... But damn did he care about the gamer. Matt was everything to him. And now he lost him.

Meanwhile Matt had made his way out of their apartment complex and onto the dirty streets of New York. He fumbled with his lighter, wishing he had atleast brought a cigarette with him. He sure as hell needed one right now. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and continued walking, going no where in particular. The yellow tinted goggles covering his eyes started to fog up from his obvious attempt to keep from crying.

He growled once again and ripped the goggles from his head. He stuffed them in his pocket and lowered his head, still holding back. Why did he ask? Why did he want to know so badly? He thought it wouldn't matter... that it wouldn't hurt when he heard the truth. He was sure by now that he didn't care anymore. He thought he had already accepted the fact that Mello didn't love him and never would. But he was wrong. Dead wrong. He knew Mello didn't love him... but to actually hear it from the blonde's mouth was too much to handle for the emotional unstable redhead.

It was something people never knew about Matt. He always seemed so clam and collected but deep down his emotions were like a ticking time bomb; just waiting to be set off. Well, it was time. That bomb in his mind set off and he threw himself into an alley so no one could see him. Without warning he punched the concrete wall as hard as he possibly could. He was sure he heard a few bones break but he was far from caring. He placed both glove covered hands against the wall before leaning forward and placing his forehead against the cold stone.

He leaned forward and pressed his shoulder against the wall. He felt his knees start to give out but he took control of his body before that happened. He turned around, his back to the wall and buried his face in his hands. Hot wet tears slipped from his eyes as his emotions were set free. His body shook involuntarily and the wall was the only thing keeping him up.

He wasn't sure how long he was there like that before he felt someone touch him. His instinct was to pull away or atleast move. But he did no such thing. He just didn't care anymore. The touch was soft. Someone had placed their hand on his head. His tears had dried up by them but he refused to look up.

The person before him gently slide their hand from the top of his head down the side. Matt let his own hands fall from his face to his sides, hitting the wall. He winced when his right hand hit the wall. He slowly opened his eyes when the person before him grabbed that hand gently and brought it up, inspecting it.

"You broke it..."

Matt stared at the black leather boots of the one person he was sure he didn't want to see right now. But he couldn't find the strength to pull his hand back.

Mello sighed softly and ran his pale fingers over Matt's gloved hand. He pulled the glove off and inspected the hand closer. It was black and blue and bleeding a bit. Mello bit his lip and rubbed the hand gently between his own two.

"You remember when I blew myself up?" Mello spoke softly. Matt said nothing but he knew the redhead was listening. "I thought I was going to die that day... And at first... I felt it was worth it. What did I have to live for?" He let out a soft breath. "But after it was all over... And I was laying there... burnt and thinking I was going to die... I could only think of one thing." He raised his hand that wasn't holding Matt's and he cupped the side of Matt's face. Without much resistance he was able to raise the redhead's face so they were eye level. But Matt kept his green eyes focused on the ground. "I could only think of you. We're all each other has... And before I even knew it... you were there. You saved me."

Matt's eyes glistened with a new set of unshed tears. He remember that day well. He was so angry with Mello that day for blowing that building up with himself inside. But the anger had quickly faded when he realized he was never going to see the blonde again. Without a second thought he was searching for Mello. They didn't say much to each other that day when Matt carried Mello out of the burnt building.

"We need each other." Mello carefully let gripped the redhead's hand and took a step forward, closing the distance between them. "We don't have anyone else. Only each other. I don't know what love is. And in truth I doubt I ever will... But whatever I feel for you..." He moved his finger under Matt's chin and lifted his head a bit more. Usually Matt was taller then Mello but since the redhead was slumped against the wall, Mello was a little taller. "It's pure and I never want it to go away."

Matt searched Mello's blue eyes for something. Anything to tell him the blonde was just messing with his head again. But he found nothing like that. Only the truth in Mello's words. The blonde's blue eyes were full of concern and something akin to love. Atleast that's what Matt figured it was. Before Matt could speak or really think it over, Mello leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Matt's.

The redhead froze. Mello pressed against his lips harder, begging for some kind of reaction. Anything. Even if Matt pushed him away he could deal with it. It took a moment before Mello got his reaction. Matt softly began to respond by pressing his lips back against Mello's.

Matt didn't know how to explain it. But when Mello's lips met his it always made his mind and body melt. His heart exploded in his chest. His mind was screaming at him to stop but he couldn't. He was addicted to Mello. Everything about the blonde made his body burn; His heart burn.

He moved so he wasn't leaning against the wall anymore. He straighten up and Mello dropped his hand. The blonde wrapped his arms around Matt's neck and the redhead wrapped one arm around Mello's thin waist. His hurt hand dangled at his side, throbbing in pain. But he didn't care at the moment.

Mello leaned up a bit to deepen the kiss and Matt allowed him to do just that. Both knew Mello would never love the gamer. Not the way Matt loved him. But it didn't seem to matter anymore. They had each other. No one else. Neither wanted anyone else. They were dependent on each other. Matt was willing to accept it. Whatever it truly was that Mello felt for him... Matt was convinced by now that it was some form of love. And in truth... It was. Mello just didn't know that was what love actually felt like. Atleast he didn't yet, but they had all the time in the world for Matt to show him what real love was. And the redhead was going to do just that.

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Wow... That totally went in a completely different direction than what I had intended... I was going to have them go their separate ways and that's it... but I couldn't do it. I'm in a happy mood so I wanted a happy ending. Anyway, you should totally go listen to that song. Makes you feel for the story more. It's called "The Truth" by Good Charlotte. Really good song. I'm not a really big fan of MattXMelloXMatt... I'm more a fan of MattXNear. But this song was just perfect for these two and I just had to do it.

So, please review! It would mean a lot! I'd love to know what you really think of this!

Thanks!

+Matt+


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